Our Pain: A Gateway to Rebirth

^{by Alexandra Amruta Dodu}

^{“Beautiful are those whose brokenness gives birth to transformation and wisdom.”} 

^{– John Green -}

In the midst of transition from old to new

One of the most powerful aspects on the path toward inner transformation is embracing pain. 

In the old paradigm, we cope with pain through distraction, avoidance, suppression, or denial, creating a vicious cycle that reinforces trauma and passes it down through generations. 

In a new, conscious world, we approach pain with curiosity, non-judgment, and compassion. We learn to use pain as a catalyst for growth and healing, and seeking support to do this is a natural part of the process. 

It took me many years of suffering to transform my relationship with pain. Over the last decade, my spiritual practice, therapy, and coaching have shown me how to embrace it.

Radical Responsibility and Embracing Pain 

Every feeling, sensation, wound, and trigger — these are ours to own. It’s tempting to place the blame on others for bringing them to the surface, but the truth is, it’s always about how we respond. 

One evening, two of my loved ones had a heated argument at the dinner table. It triggered something deep within me. I rushed through my meal and retreated to the couch to process it. Wrapped in a warm blanket, tears began to flow. Their argument had unearthed an old pain I hadn’t realised was there.

Anger, frustration, and a flood of words filled my mind: "Why so much contempt? Why this hate? Why so much disrespect towards each other?" My mind was spiralling more and more, increasing the intensity of my pain... But then, I stopped. I turned my attention inward. I focused on my breath, and I set an intention: 

"I want to know the truth. I open up to clarity, to love and healing of this pain."

I prayed, I opened up, I took responsibility. Within minutes, my heart opened, and the truth was there:

"My pain has nothing to do with my loved ones' argument. Nothing to do with them! Their argument was a mirror... A reflection of my old pain — my own unresolved inner contempt, criticism, and lack of harmony."

In that moment, everything shifted. My pain dissolved, replaced by a sense of spaciousness, calm, and serenity. This was one of the most powerful experiences on taking radical responsibility that I have ever had. I accepted this intellectually... But I had never experienced it to this extent.

That night, I fell asleep in the lap of love; waking up feeling as if I had been reborn.

Let's keep reminding ourselves

One of the coaches I deeply appreciate, Alister Gray, says: "Emotions can be expressed or suppressed". 

Every sensation, feeling, and trigger is mine to heal and transform. All it takes is sitting with it with patience, keen attention, and curiosity, trusting that, given enough space to be seen and felt, it will alchemise into something else. It will dissolve and, in its place, there's the calm at the bottom of the ocean — a new space from where new possibilities can emerge.

Individual transformation changes the face of the Earth

The challenges and crises we face today, both individually and collectively, serve as powerful catalysts for our awakening. Moments of hardship and uncertainty often trigger our wounds, pushing us to confront limiting beliefs, fears, and inner conflicts. In doing so, we are given the opportunity to reconnect with ourselves and each other — experiencing unity, inner strength, and spiritual clarity that lead to resilience and peace.

Next time a world situation, political statement, or a piece of news triggers you  —  ask yourself "What is this telling me about myself?"

Next time you are in conversation with someone who doesn't agree with you — watch yourself: "Am I taking it personally?"

Next time you have a compulsive need to shut down dialogue — consider: "What am I trying to avoid?"

Dialogue with our "adversaries" is the most valuable process for growth, for connection, for building bridges within us and with those around. World peace starts with making peace within our own minds and hearts.

As a final point

When we experience pain, it's easy to place blame on others or the circumstances. But true healing begins only when we take radical responsibility for our emotions, reactions, and wounds. 

Every New Year, spring, and even each new day offers us a chance to begin again. 

Yet real rebirth happens in the quiet, everyday moments — in our interactions at home, at work, or on the street. With each moment, we have countless opportunities to be more open, more willing, and to start anew. 

Through these choices, we are constantly reborn.

Happy Spring!